The 2009 Super Bowl Extravaganza

Since I can’t seem to come up with anything concrete for this Super Bowl Extravaganza column, I have decided to offer you a series of completely random thoughts and observations. As always, some things will be quite specific … others, well, probably won’t make much sense. I’ll wrap it up with the final “Fun Picks from The Fun Car.” As always, enjoy the ride.

• You know you have a gambling problem when you bet on … the coin toss; the over/under on the number of flashbulbs popping during the opening kick; which hat/shirt combo Mike Tomlin is going to wear; how many players with visible dreads under their helmet will see the field in the first half; the time the clock reads when John Madden makes his first Tom Brady reference; the time the clock reads when John Madden mentions that Brett Farve gives him butterflies; how many times Steelers manchild linebacker LaMarr Woodley picks up Kurt Warner and throws him; and last but no least, the over/under on how many whiskeys it appears Bruce Springsteen has had by the halftime show.

• Speaking of John Madden, I’ve always been quite entertained by him providing rather colorful color analysis. Know why? Since he doesn’t offer anything of any value, I can actually just watch the game and laugh every once in a while when I catch a, “You know, Al, with that offside penalty, Kurt Warner now only has to manage a 3rd-and-3 instead of 3rd-and-8.”

• One thing I know I’m looking forward to: Watching how the Pittsburgh secondary covers, handles, and tries to take Larry Fitzgerald out of the game. That’s one of the best single match-ups that I’ve seen on paper in a while.

• One thing I know I’m not looking forward to: hearing Madden and Al Michaels bring up the Kurt Warner for the Hall of Fame debate. That has to win this year’s “Please, God, Make it Stop” story before the Super Bowl. There’s always one.

• That reminds me, something about the two-week gap leading up to this year’s game is different for me. I spend, um, a good amount of time in my room – where I feature over-the-air TV without the convenience of a cable hookup. The one bedroom in the place with no cable. Turns out that’s a beautiful thing … without Chris Berman, Trey Wingo, Chris Mortensen and the gang, I feel suddenly smarter. And by the way, Trey Wingo is definitely working his way up the “Most Annoying Anchors” list. Berman will forever be on top and that’s not debatable.

• Everyone always gets all giddy over the Super Bowl commercials. Last year, there were about two good ones. I find myself paying attention less and less the past three or four years. See, the advertising firms and writers have actually outdone themselves. Ads have gotten too good for the other 364 days of the year. Either that or I watch way too much TV. Not sure.

• Is Barack Obama going to host the pregame show, then sing the National Anthem, followed by flipping the coin toss, booting opening kick, and finally putting on some pads after halftime to become the hero who wins the game as Arizona’s QB after Warner gets hurt? Well, he is quite the savior, right?

(Side note: completely unrelated to the Super Bowl, that comment about Obama reminded me of when I flicked past NBC’s “Meet The Press” last Sunday morning. I love how, along with the Obama family’s constant appearances on “Entertainment Tonight” and the like, political pundits are now providing analogies about our country’s interrogation guidelines with the TV series “24.” I heard it with my own two ears. This clown said something to the effect of, “Well, I think we have gone away from techniques like Jack Bauer.” What? Are you kidding me?)

• Since the game is in Tampa, do you think the NFL arranged a little surprise to commemorate the first “overfeated” team in history, the 1976 Buccaneers at 0-14, and invite the 2008 Detroit Lions to join them on the field together before kickoff? What a collection that would be.

FUN PICKS FROM THE FUN CAR
(Sheridan’s Odds; USAToday.com 1/29)

Cardinals (+7) over Steelers (Sunday, 6:15 p.m. ET, NBC)
If I am allowed to tell the truth, I’m taking the points in this one simply because I want to root for Arizona. I can only hope they throw in Fitzgerald’s direction no less than 20 times, throw in trick play or two, and the Cardinal defense adds a minimum of two turnovers. Seriously, though, there is a much better chance of my grandma streaking across the 40-yard line during the second quarter. Go Cards.