Reality show special

So a couple weeks ago, myself and a friend were having, um, the type of conversation we normally have. You know, excessive tangents and usually quite crude analogies and such. We may or may not talk about women every now and then. But I feel like I should also say that he is a minority. Awkward silence after the PC term …

I mention that piece of it because, as a white guy, having a true friend who can just as soon make degrading comments about my heritage is something you can’t really compare anything to. I make Mexican jokes, he comes back with something revolving around kilts and potatoes. Two white guy friends could never do this. And yes, if you are a follower of this column, this is the same guy who has the bagpipe ring tone for me.

This particular conversation we somehow ended up on the topic of reality TV shows, something about just the general awfulness of it all. Don’t get me wrong, I have been sucked into a few myself over the years, but most of them are there solely to make fun of. Well, doing our racial joke routine yet again, we started thinking up reality shows with overtones … funny ones.

You tell me, what could be more realistic than taking a “typical” bar-scene-type white guy – decked out in his khaki shorts, t-shirt and flip flops – and dropping him in the middle of South Central L.A..? Think of the possibilities here people. Having a true wing man in the ghetto, he could be adopted by a small group and taught the ropes … with obvious tests along the way, hoping to gain street cred.

Similar scenario, take a middle age Mexican gentleman who doesn’t speak much English and toss him in the classic “cubical office” with mostly white guys and ladies. He would be a mid-level Account Rep type, having to go through several types of business meetings while trying to overcome all the stereotypes. And the catch could be that, his prior manual labor skills somehow save the day when the building endures a somewhat minor disaster. Eduardo comes through!

I could go on and on, but I really think it’s worth looking into. Somehow the producers could twist the teases and themes to revolve around “America finding its true identity” so that advertisers would flock to it. Viewers would come by the millions to see something they have never seen before. If anyone knows someone at the networks, feel free to pass along my name and they can thank me later.

Big Weekend

Anyone remember what I said about Butler on Monday? Maybe I was right about something. Yet again Thursday night, the ButDogs were nice to Wisconsin Green-Bay by not showing up for the first half, eventually pulling away 68-59. Its kind of like a cat who finds a mouse and gets him trapped, but just kinda plays with it for an hour before actually killing it.

I wasn’t at Hinkle last evening, but I sent a few texts with my free season ticket partner – one of them being about six minutes into the second half when every Butler fan knew exactly what was going on. My text read: “See what happens when your best three players are the only ones who shoot? Genius!”

The ButDogs now have a two-game cushion in the loss column in the current standings of the vaunted Horizon League. I’m willing to say that this one is over, folks. Even if Butler loses two conference games, there is no way anyone else is running the table. Try to argue otherwise.

Butler’s little stepbrother, Wisconsin-Milwaukee, is scheduled to show up at Hinkle for a 2 p.m. tip tomorrow in a contest of the top two in the conference standings. There is only one important thing about this game: I was tipped off a few weeks ago by my buddy at the Horizon League Network that UWM features a JuCo transfer who goes by the name of “Big Thunder.” I expect a cheer for the fella. He’s listed at 6-7, 340 and apparently is pretty soft on his feet. And he even chucks 3s (22-59 on the season). Now this is going to be something to see. Photos to come on Monday, stay tuned.

The Devil appears

OK, no more Tim Tebow. I get it. First column on Friday that didn’t have a comment on it … safe to say the handful of readers may actually agree on something. So I’ll move on.

While sitting face up at the bar on Saturday night, I was introduced to Tucker Max – an extremely offensive, distasteful and hilarious writer. Apparently I’m way behind the curve on this, but supposedly his narratives on his own sexcapades are really true. True on not, I sat there with my buddy’s iPhone to may face giggling for a solid five minutes.

We then proceeded to have a couples glasses of The Devil’s Piss, as Max calls it, which also goes by Red Bull-Vodka. Simply put, the stuff will give you the worst hangover possible … but that’s why I don’t drink it anymore, for the most part. Well I did, and that leads me to Sunday.

I’ve become ashamed of hangovers, but once again, football saved me. Gambling aside, those were two kind of surprisingly classic games to watch. And once and for all – finally, I’m on the Arizona bandwagon. If they’ll still let me on.

Last night, after Troy Polamalu went the other way for six to seal the deal for Pittsburgh, I was pretty convinced that I was watching the best collective defense I have ever seen in my somewhat brief football viewing career. I don’t enjoy admitting it, but I think it’s better than the Bears’ D two years ago – and I was only three years old when the ’85 Bears were doing their thing. I was convinced after that pick, but it had more to do with the performance of their secondary as a whole, especially in the second half. They were laying people out, even the corners. To me that’s a pretty good sign.

Put that on top of seeing Larry Fitzgerald be a complete freak against the Eagles, putting him on a completely different level than any of his peers or dudes that attempt to cover him, and it turned into a day definitely worth remembering. How could you not love to root for the Cardinals? It kind of makes you feel like a kid again, you should try it.

There were several times in the fourth quarter where you could just see that Arizona was going to win that game, and none were more apparent than the visual display of Brian Dawkins getting run over multiple times by, um, Tim Hightower. Dawkins used to not fall backwards, be he was the one falling that way on Arizona’s clinching touchdown. It was like you could literally see the old team surrendering to the team of destiny. What classic viewing, I tell you.

And when Fox came back from commercial, Joe Buck opened by asking, “Was there ever a drive that could potentially put a guy in the Hall of Fame?” If it made sense to respond to a question with a statement, this would be a perfect time to say, “You’re exactly right, Joe.” Think of Kurt Warner a couple years ago in a Giants uniform. Could you ever have seen this happening? And more important, why haven’t we seen Fox make cuts to Matt Leinart standing on the sidelines? So many things to love about this team. Stay tuned the next couple weeks for more Super Bowl fun.

Second half ButDogs

As painful as it was to see Butler chuck an ungodly amount of 3s in the first half at UIC on Saturday, most thrown up there by guys you’d rather not shoot them, this team just continues to show that its talent is too much to handle in this conference – even when they play like a high school team for a half.

I’m starting to just appreciate this team for what they are – an extremely raw and talented bunch who seems to rise the occasion more often than not. But also a team who is going to make stupid mistakes and really frustrate you at times. It officially makes it the most interesting team to watch that maybe we've ever seen at Butler.

And I can’t help but say that my man crush on “Gordo” continues to grow. You know what I’ve realized the past few weeks? When I watched him play a handful of times last year at Brownsburg, he was nowhere near this good. He didn’t even come close to dominating and taking over games like he’s doing right now. I’m the first one to admit that I never expected him to create so many problems on defense while making you say “wow” with his inside-outside game on the offensive end. But that’s exactly what he’s doing.

And I feel like Shelvin Mack needs some type of nickname or description. Any thoughts? On a relative off night, the kid posted 18 points, eight boards and eight assists on Saturday. And Gordo just keeps taking his glory. Something like “The Shadow,” but cooler than that. Or maybe the two of them could just be Batman and Robin. Let’s see where this goes.