Say it ain't so, Timmy T.

For as good as Saturday afternoons in the fall usually turn out, it never seems to fail that the college football season always just fades off … lost, just like every other sport, in the domination by the NFL and its take-no-prisoners empire. End of the regular season, eight teams fighting for two playoff spots, and then just a week later it’s pure chaos. And you want me to watch or care about bowl games?

It’s much like the 5-10, 325-pound, middle-age white guy at the China buffet who can overshadow any other face-stuffer in the place. When everyone else is done, he’s going back for one more plate of egg rolls, pot stickers and chicken on a stick. Damn it, that’s what he came for, and he’s going to put it away. The NFL is what people came for, and when it comes down to crunch time, that’s what we are going to consume in mass amounts.

And you know what else? It sucks. I wish it wasn’t that way. We all know there’s only one way to change that, either a six or eight team playoff, but that’s not even worth discussing here. This is more about a realization I have had since the college season disappeared. We’ll wrap it up with my Conference Championship weekend picks.

Bowling over

Something sticks out like a sore thumb, and I know I’m probably not the first one to say it: When Tim Tebow announced that he’s coming back for his senior year, it was some of the worst sports news I have heard in quite some time. I didn’t really know where to put it on the list, but I’m thinking that it has to be right below Jordan’s final comeback with the Wizards. For different reasons mostly.

After listening to Fox play-by-play guru Thom Brennaman rave about Tebow for a solid 15-minute stretch of the National Title Game, I sat there and thought if I were a first time viewer or didn’t know much about him (which is almost not humanly possible, I know), I’d think he was some type of prophet or something. THE SINGLE GREATEST HUMAN COLLEGE FOOTBALL HAS EVER SEEN, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN.

But, much more importantly, what the hell is going to happen next season? How will the talking heads possibly cover him? Where is this going to lead? Is he going to get his own reality show? Are we all going to start turning to Gainesville, Fla. when we pray? There are so many questions, all of them I wish I didn’t have to ask.

And you know what else? Staying at Florida was the dumbest decision Tebow could have made. If he comes out this season, someone would be dumb enough to take a third-round flyer on the kid. He would go through one training camp as a QB, then get moved to H-back or tight end and that will be that. Instead, he’ll get exposed even more as an NFL prospect. Good call, Timmy T. There is almost nothing good that can come from this entire situation. The truth of the matter is that in two years, nobody will even care who he is.

Meanwhile, speaking of not really caring, Michigan’s freshman YouTube sensation Sam McGuffie has gotten homesick (from Texas) and is transferring out. There is no need to pile on the kid, but since he had a bunch of no-talent lineman in front of him, he got his bell rung quite often this season. That ended with three concussions … so is it homesick, or headsick?

Either way, I’m not even sure if it matters. What does matter is that Michigan’s non-existent defensive coordinator from last season, Scott Shafer, resigned. He was quoted by ESPN.com’s Adam Rittenberg as saying, “I take full responsibility for the demise of where Michigan’s program is at this time.” I can’t even chew on that right now.

FUN PICKS FROM THE FUN CAR
(Sheridan’s odds; USAToday.com 1/16; Home team in caps)

Eagles (-3.5) over CARDINALS (Sunday, 3 p.m. ET on Fox)
You know it’s a bad thing when your first thought about a game is, “How did these two teams even make it here in the first place?” I’m not sure, in my relatively short gambling career, if I’ve ever been more flustered by a game. And what should you normally do in that situation? Take the points. But nope, not here. Not in The Fun Car. I think I’ll just call it “Opposite Sunday.” The thing is, I’m pretty sure I see this one being close to a blowout either way, so I’m picking the team I think has the better chance to blow the other out. Good thinking? Probably not, but I’m not exactly feeling good about myself after last weekend. I think there is a decent enough chance that Philly comes out and gets a few quick defensive stops by blitzing Kurt Warner until he cries, maybe a defensive score, and a couple long plays from Donovan to DeSean. Light it up!

STEELERS (-1.5) over Ravens (Sunday, 6:30 ET on CBS)
I suppose I should just keep betting against the Ravens and hope they lose at some point. But seriously, I love the Steelers here. Maybe even in a big way, such as winning by 14 or 21 points. Listen, for all of you that didn’t watch how the Titans marched the ball on a relatively tired Raven defense last week, and didn’t see how the Steelers are finally healthy on offense with a balanced attack and Willie Parker making a difference again – open your eyes. I also noticed something else a bit surprising … I’ve never been a huge Big Ben fan (although I don’t dislike him), but he was throwing a heck of a deep ball against the Chargers. He threw a handful of deep routes right on the money – really impressive tosses, and I think he will connect on one or two of those again. Write it down, take the Steelers and thank me later. Cheers.

Moving Down Under

Does anyone understand how you know when you’ve not had a job for way too long? It’s when twice in one day, you get separate emails from separate friends saying apply to this right here.

That could be the entire thought for the day, I could just leave it at that, but hey – I’ve got nothing better to do, other than apply to The World’s Greatest Job. And let’s be honest, you know and I know that I’ll be sending some materials to somebody important.

Funny thing is, and one of the guys who sent it to me already knew, I’ve stayed on an island about a quarter mile from where this “Great Barrier Reef Media Dude” would be posting up. The gig is on Hamilton Island, which my catamaran pulled up to for a few hours one afternoon. Everyone gets around on golf carts … it’s the most touristy spot in the tropical fantasy of the Whitsunday Islands off the northeast coast of Australia.

This little stop during the greatest five-month span of my life “studying abroad” in Sydney (early ’04) has led me to this moment, where destiny could lead me back there. Think about it, what a Hollywood narrative that would be. It’s the opposite of “Castaway” where I would just be livin’ the dream, after getting tossed from a career covering high school sports in the middle of Indiana. How does this not work out for me?

OK, now that that’s settled, let’s get on to some Big Ten buckets. Essentially, I offer some observation from afar … I’ve watched a handful of games, caught parts about every team, and this is really the first year in quite a while where I’ve had some interest in the conference.

Much like in football, Big Ten hoops has been noticeably below average for an extended period of time. And b-ball can’t survive a bad product the way football can – just ask the Illini, where despite being 14-2, they haven’t been able to fill Assembly Hall for most of the season. And the terribly constructed Assembly Hall in Bloomington, Ind., has been a melting pot for pure stink all season and IU has shut down the upper tank, I’ve heard. But you can be sure all those mouth breathers will be back next season with the Hooisers’ top five class coming in.

Looking at the standings and all the team records is a little bit of a tease, which I could make an analogy for that would probably be inappropriate. I’m not even close to being sold on Illinois, Ohio State, Penn St., and even Wisconsin somewhat. Not to mention Michigan, who despite some really sexy wins, still seem to not show up sometimes (Re: overtime win over Indiana).

The A-Rod Award for “Most disappointing in big games” goes to Purdue, who really just has been disappointing all around. But I still think my guy Matt Painter can turn this thing around if they get healthy and lose the “We think we’re better than we are” attitude by the tourney. I like Painter … he’s really one of the few that can pull off the glossy slicked back look. I respect that.

Which brings me to the two teams I see as the front runners so far – the two scratch golfers who aren’t getting any strokes. One is a mainstay, Michigan State, but the sleeper is the Go-phers (long ‘o’) and the one and only Tubby Smith. If you think the guy can’t coach, you’re wrong. If they can win some close games down the stretch, I just like the way they play from the little snips I’ve seen.

Here is the other thing I’m really starting to be impressed by in the Big Ten: the coaches. Being a maize and blue guy, I can’t help but start to develop some feelings for John Beilein. I know Iowa sucks, but I watched most of that game Sunday (and unexpected part of the 36 hours of viewing pleasure) and Michigan’s zone defense is kinda fun to watch. That’s not to mention the aforementioned Smith and Painter, to go along with Tom Izzo, Bo Ryan, the golden brown toned Tom Crean, and Thad Matta. That’s leaving out Mr. High Pitch at Illinois, who is a decent coach himself (just can’t recruit). What about Todd Lickliter? Hmmm … not exactly sold on him.

But that’s a pretty good list of coaches, right? I’d put that up against any conference, but I think the Big East would take ‘em partly due to shear numbers. The talent in the Big Ten still needs to get better, which it’s starting to, but better coaches help attract that. Especially when they’ve got nice hair like Painter, a nice tan like Crean, and solid dance moves like Ryan.

Lots of viewing pleasure

This past weekend, I went to my brother’s apartment on the north side of Chicago for 36 hours of Sony Bravia NFL Playoff Viewing, and a few libations as well. Sony didn’t sponsor that lead to today’s Fun Car (I’m not quite there yet), but if the game is shot on a Sony, shouldn’t you be watching it on a Sony?

I say yes … and we were. Fifty-two inches of goodness, to be exact, and it was literally a two thirds upright position for the better part of that 36 hours. We did leave to go out Saturday night, but that was the exception to the rule.

Several comments and questions were thrown out, obviously, and the things discussed ranged from my brother literally conversing with James Brown during that Sony promo, to how short and squatty the Giants’ offensive line really is, to how unbelievably hot the brunette from "Gary Unmarried" is. Who is she? There's no research department here.

(Detour: Meanwhile, I went 0-4 on my bets and for my first and only official meltdown of the season, at the worst possible time and the worst possible weekend. I’m not losing cold hard cash, it’s just a rather expensive season-long pool. Yeah, that almost makes me feel better about it. I even went against my Arizona pick in last Wednesday’s column. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m just a dope. It was just a kick to the face really.)

One of the better conversations revolved around the odd torso shape of Ray Lewis, who is sporting a bit of a belly now at 34 years old. That got me thinking the Middle Linebacker Belly was more of a trend rather than just Ray.

Let’s think about it. Being holed up here in Indy, the first guy who came to mind was Gary Brackett. That is the shortest and pudgiest NFL linebacker I’ve personally ever seen, both in pads and out of pads. Back in my valet parking days, the guy stepped out of his SUV and I wouldn’t have know the difference if Marlin Jackson wasn’t getting out of the Escalade behind him. Seriously, I’m 5-9 and I was eye to eye with Brackett, and my gut was not much bigger.

Then, watching the Giants-Eagles snooze fest, I was reminded of the little pouch that Antonio Pierce is carrying. Is three a trend? And is there any explanation for this, other than the fact that they eat burritos at 3 a.m. a couple times a week? More important, add to the list if you think you have a linebacker guilty of this infraction.

Mojo Risin’

If you’ve ever seen the episode of “Family Guy” where Peter gets his own theme music, then this will make more sense. But still, don’t you think that some things just need theme music?

I can’t figure out why, but every once in a while, the process of doing a task has reminded me of a certain song … and it thus becomes theme music. This morning, I went online to check out the college hoops rankings this week and went to find the ButDogs at No. 17 in the AP and No. 18 in the Coaches’ Poll.

Then it hit me. The Doors have put out some classics, but this was a perfect fit for hearing Jim Morrison in the background, starting low and quiet into the crescendo …

“Mo-jo ri-sin’ … keep the mojo risin’ … mo-jo ri-sin’ … keep on risin’ … MO-JO RI-SIN’! … KEEP ON RI-SIN’! …RISIN’ RISIN’!”

No, I’m not on any psychedelics today. But yes, going to check the polls to see the ButDogs creep their way up now has its own theme music.

The only game I’ve missed all season was last Saturday’s “What the hell was that?” showing against Detroit, yet the ButDogs escaped at home. Just one of those games that doesn’t look good on paper, which frankly, most of the people voting only see most games on paper.

And you know, that’s exactly why the top-25 really doesn’t mean squat. How did that ranking work out for Butler last year? Got them a 7-seed. And that didn’t matter either. But, what I will say is that the ranking is one of the best things for the program. They can do things like have Brad Stevens ask in a radio commercial if the reason you like Butler basketball is because of “the consistent top-25 ranking.”

But on a more serious note, a top-25 ranking legitimizes a mid major program. If they can stay there consistently, which the ButDogs now have for the past two-plus years, then it puts them on a different level. It helps recruit a different kind of player … don’t kid yourself if you think “The Butler Way” is the top reason Shelvin Mack, Gordon Hayward, Matt Howard came to play at Hinkle.

After this season, pretty much no matter how deep this team goes in the tourney, you can put them right there with Gonzaga as the class of college basketball outside the power conferences. And I’m just using that as a classification, not in a demeaning way.

Tomorrow I’ll change it up a little and talk some Big Ten hoops and we’ll see what else. Trying to stick on the Monday-Wednesday-Friday, but man, sometimes the day just gets away from me.