Five Questions for Brad Stevens

Not long into the second half of Butler’s 75-66 loss to Green Bay on Monday night, I got that feeling that usually comes around once or twice a season. You know what I’m talking about. Sitting there watching a weeknight road game, riding an 8-12 game winning streak or so, and things just aren’t going well.

It’s almost as if I mailed in the loss well before it even happened, just to start the process of moving on. I wasn’t, and am still not, upset by the fact that Butler lost … it was more the fashion in which they did so. And what I kind of like about it is that with just one loss, suddenly the regular season conference title is up for grabs. I want to see how this group responds.

Sure, the officiating was again terrible. But you know that going in to it. When was the last time you watched a Horizon League game and thought the crew in stripes did a solid job? Knowing how tight of game they were calling, I was frustrated to see how many stupid fouls Butler gave up in the second half. They’re smarter than that, I think.

Two things that kind of stick out to me at the moment are the point guard situation and the Matt Howard situation. The former is causing serious turnover problems while the latter needs to learn how to stay on the floor and out of foul trouble.

I’m not sitting here and throwing Howard under the bus – what I’m saying is that, he seems to be costing the team by committing one or two stupid fouls a game and having to sit the bench with a cup of coffee. Do you see how the offense struggles when he is not on the floor? This team can’t win in the conference tourney or advance in the real tourney if Howard doesn’t play 30 minutes or more. It’s as simple as that right now.

I do give some credit to Green Bay for playing a solid game, and by no means am I suggesting that after one loss you need to find new ingredients. Just mix the salad for me. What I’m hoping is that this one loss will, most importantly, hammer home some basic things that need to change for the sake of the team. Did anyone else notice Gordon Hayward bringing the ball up the floor a handful of times in the second half? I know I’d like to see that again. I don’t subscribe to the theory that it takes away from what Gordo can do on the offensive end. I do subscribe to the theory of Gordo being able to handle the ball and actually see a standard passing lane, for instance.

Speaking of Gordo, I would be doing a disservice if I failed to mention the reference made on Green Bay TV during the game on Monday night. The color analyst said, without hesitation, “This guy is more versatile than the ShamWow.” I know for a fact that I’m not the only one who caught that.

Over the past couple weeks, I’ve had some questions that have me scratching my head. I think I’ll go ahead and write them here, as if I were providing a list to Brad Stevens and he promise to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Here we go.

1. How come when Hahn comes in and commits three quick turnovers he gets yanked never to see the floor again, but when Ron Nored does pretty much the same thing, you leave him on the floor most of the time? And honestly, do you think either one of them is helping the team right now? I’m not biased against them, I promise, so be honest.

2. Why don’t you ever put your hands on Shelvin Mack’s shoulders, look him in the eye, kind of shake him a little bit and say … “Shelvin! Shoot the damn ball more!”

3. Why don’t you ever do the same thing, except say “less” to a handful of other guys?

4. Why don’t you wear tennis shoes every game? That was a good look for you.

5. Have you considered sitting down in a room alone with Gordo, Mack and Howard, and saying this one sentence to them: “Guys, all I’m asking you to do is take about 80 percent of our shots every game”?

I could come up with more, but I’ll leave it at that for now. Maybe I’ll start doing a weekly “Five Questions for Brad Stevens” bit. Yeah that sounds good. I’m out of town next week but I’ll still be writing twice, so enjoy your first weekend of hell without football. Cheers.

Super Bowls of Dip

I decided to go fairly low key for the Super Bowl yesterday, just myself and a husband-wife combo … a fairly standard third party affair for yours truly. We happened to feature a variety of dips as the main course(s), which I think I’m now going to make the main staple for future viewing parties. The ability to graze at your leisure is of utmost importance at such events. Chips and dips are the ultimate grazing combos. By the way, if you’d like to read about the game itself, you are allowed to go elsewhere. Only vague references here in The Fun Car today.

Let me just start by saying that I’m glad I no longer drink Budweiser products after that display of not just one, but a series of utterly painful and uncomfortable horse commercials. You all saw them, and I know (hope) you were cringing at the same thing. The thick skulls at Anheuser-Busch decided to get cute and take their “iconic” horses and make them talk. Horses talking. Not funny talking … trying to follow 30-second plots and storylines. Who thought of this? One of them was even trying to make reference to the hardships of our ancestors’ immigration. With a narrator and a horse. The thoughts of the horse. Gosh that was just awful.

Which brings me to the good stuff. Best of the commercials was easily the one-second Miller High Life spot. If you didn’t laugh, you have other issues. If you didn’t see it, well, you blew it. You almost had to see it in the context of the entire commercial break, but here it is on YouTube.

Last note about the ads – are we back in the ‘80s with this 3-D stuff?

Onto a couple side notes that came up during the game. Did anyone else notice that huge patch on the left arm of Edgerrin James? I never saw a good, clean shot of it by the camera guy, which essentially allow me to really believe what I first thought: It was an oversized nicotine patch. Come on, you know Edge rolls with a soft pack of Newport’s. It just makes sense. He’d be taking pulls on the sideline if he could.

Moving on with a few other things I remember … noticing the rather pubic-hair-looking face of Troy Polamalu; wondering what barbells LaMarr Woodley uses for curls in the weight room because his arms are abnormally girth-y; dreaming that a combination of Anquan Boldin and Byron Leftwich would make me interested in the Bears next season; and wondering why I don’t have much material on John Madden after a four-hour broadcast.

Butler Road Trip

Have you ever been more bored during a game that was tied with under five minutes to play than Friday’s win over Valpo? Gosh that was difficult to watch. It wasn’t even a situation where I was sitting there worrying about whether or not Butler was going to pull it out. It was more just thinking if this was finally going to be the day were they laid an egg, similar to the game against Detroit a few weeks ago.

I personally don’t think Butler will stumble during the three-game, six-night road trip this week. But, if they do drop a game in conference play, I also think that this will be the time it will happen. Best chance of that will be tonight at Green Bay, a team that from what I’ve seen is the only group in the conference that can remotely compete on talent alone. And don’t get too big for your britches when the Dogs crack the top 10. How would you like to be going through the Big East right now? Ask Notre Dame and Georgetown.

Predicting the future is not really my thing, but sometimes it’s easy to see the biggest weaknesses. Weaknesses that will ultimately be the downfall if something doesn’t get fixed. I have two right now with this Butler team. One, Ron Nored and Co. driving somewhere near the free-throw line and not being able to see closed passing lanes (AKA dumb turnovers). And two, extremely poor shot selection – the wrong people taking shots too often and too early in the shot clock. I hope I’m wrong, I really do.

Tune in on Thursday and feel free to comment or e-mail me at thefuncarblog@yahoo.com. Another mailbag would be good. Cheers.