Thoughts, picks, and genearlly just a good time

It's Friday, I ain't got no job, I ain't got $h!t to do. It's funny cause I can legitimately say that. My to-do lists on a daily basis are full of exciting and important stuff. Like today, I'm on a mission to find the most hideous Christmas sweater known to man for the standard yearly themed get-together. I swear everyone from the age of 23 to roughly 40 goes to an "Ugly Christmas Sweater Party" on an annual basis. I love the holidays.

For the most part, the holiday season can basically be highlighted by things such as driving (snow and traffic jams included), family fun, seeing out-of-town friends, indulging in a few adult beverages ... and repeat. Even for someone like me, who has "laundry" as the day's top priority once a week, there's a lot going on this time of year.

So, in honor of this somewhat spazzy (I know other people that say that word, but I don't think it's really a word) time of year, I unveil to you this week's random notebook. And we'll close with the second installment of "Fun Picks from The Fun Car", featuring the opening of the college bowl season along with Sunday's NFL goodies.

• Last week, before the Colts played the Lions, I made a somewhat half-hearted comment to my buddy that without Peyton Manning, the Colts would be closer to looking like the Lions than most people would think. And after watching that game against Detroit - you know, the game where you weren't sure if the crowd was either napping or reading a good book - and then Thursday's uninspired comeback against the Jags, I think that sentiment about Manning and the team may be closer to true than false. I flicked past ESPN 1070 here in Indy last week and heard Indy Star columnist and afternoon show co-host Bob Kravitz say that the Colts are the hottest team in the NFL right now. And better yet, he said that they are the ONE team that anyone in the AFC wouldn't want to see in the playoffs. I find that opinion to be remarkably stupid. The only thing that would be remotely close to accurate would be saying that Manning is the one QB that you wouldn't want to see in the playoffs right now. Everyone knows I can't stand him, but I say he's the MVP of the league.

• Ahh, and now I can move on to the beloved Bears. I just can't wait until Monday night's game means absolutely nothing after the Vikings win on Sunday. It's going to be great to turn on The Score in the car and hear the lowest common denominator say how beating the Packers is do or die, and it would save the season. Essentially, the Bears are an overachieving bad team. The amount of money they spent on the defense, in direct correlation with the product you see on the field on both sides of the ball, is absolutely incredible to me. Year after year, blah blah blah ...

• Not sure if anyone outside of Indy actually heard about this or even cares, but former North Central H.S. and IU hooper Eric Gordon (now playing for the L.A. Clippers) made some headlines by saying that while at IU, some teammates were maybe twisting a joint in between classes and the like. He didn't exactly put it in those words, but his quote was a little too boring for me. I believe he said "did some drugs." Anyway, putting the actual drug issue aside, I was just kinda scratching my head at why he would say something like that at this point. I've interviewed the kid, saw him play a bunch in high school and was friends with many people that knew him well ... and what I'm trying to say is that he's the type of kid that would only share that for a reason. From all accounts that I know, he's a good guy with a good head, so tell me, why would he tell a reporter that a year later? That's a legitimate question, I think.

• It's a (h)uge weekend in the NFL, which means it's time to turn off ESPN so that your brain doesn't become mush. In case you haven't heard, the No. 1 seed in the playoffs is up for grabs in each conference with the Steelers at the Titans (CBS, 1 p.m. est) and the Giants hosting the Panthers (NBC, 8:15 p.m. est). Picks on these games will be found below, but I'd just like to say that I'm glad neither one of these games is on FOX, therefore there is absolutely no possibility of seeing Frank Caliendo at any point during the day. Seriously, has any comedian become more annoying in a quicker time span? Okay Frank, we get it ... John Madden is a nut job and Charles Barkley says stupid things with strange emphases on certain syllables. Enough already.

• The annual installment of baseball's "Hot Stove League" is about to start wrapping up, and unless you're in New York, Boston, L.A. and maybe one or two other cities, you'd probably rather read about why the stove in your kitchen is still hot even though dinner was made three hours ago. But let's go ahead and throw the Cubs under the bus - only because it's the right thing to do. It's just so fun to see the fans get all up in arms over possible trades and free agent signings that haven't happened. After the way the Cubbies went to sleep in the playoffs, the offseason circus is even more exciting in many ways. Get a hold of yourselves, please.

FUN PICKS FROM THE FUN CAR
(Sheridan's Odds; USAToday.com 12/19; Home team in caps)

Wake Forest (-3) over Navy (Saturday @ Washington, D.C)
You can't say this about many bowl games during any given year, but I actually think that this game has two teams that are willing to actually show up for the game ... in other words, they are two pretty disciplined programs. That's what makes bowl games tough to pick against the spread, simply because at least one team almost always fails to remember that people are betting on these games. In this one, I like Wake Forest stud LB and Butkus Award winner Aaron Curry to give some headaches to Navy's predictable (but effective) option running attack. I guess we'll find out.

Arizona (-3) over BYU (Saturday @ Las Vegas)
Here's my thinking on this game: The "Mormon Affect" will actually hurt BYU because they have way more players on their roster who are of legal age to go enjoy the, um, good times in Vegas. Come on, they can't always be angels, right? And, perhaps a more logical argument, all I know is that BYU very nearly and should have lost to the incomparable Washington Huskies and Ty Willingham earlier this season. 'Nough said.

Pittsburgh (-1.5) over TENNESSEE (Sunday, 1 p.m. est)
I'm allowed to get off the Titan bandwagon just as fast as I got on it. Even on the road, I just see the Steelers being too tough in the fourth quarter in this one ... quite similar to a 13-9 game like last week, without the benefit of an iffy replay call. And seriously, how much do you love Mike Tomlin? I'd just be really surprised if I went out for a beer with him and ended up thinking he wasn't cool.

Arizona (+8) over NEW ENGLAND (Sunday, 1 p.m. est)
Yes, I do know how awful the Cardinals were last week at home against Minnesota. But I just think that's a lot of points to be getting for a team that can score a lot of points. Even though the Pats posted 49 last week against Oakland, they did give up 26 to close-to-calling-him-a-bust JaMarcus Russell. I could be terribly wrong about this one, but what else is new.

DETROIT (+7) over New Orleans (Sunday, 1 p.m. est)
Please, someone in control of something, give the people of Southeast Michigan a break. I beg you.

Carolina (+3) over NY GIANTS (Sunday, 8:15 p.m. est)
Whether Brandon Jacobs is on the field or not, I still like the points in this game. The Giants just don't look like the same team lately (big revelation, I know), so it will really be a matter of whether or not they can get out of this funk heading into the playoffs. On the other side, if I could pick one head coach in the league to start a team, John Fox would make the list of the final three ... and maybe get the nod. They keep winning despite Jake Delhomme and his rather odd and uncomfortable look on the football field. If there were an award for "NFL quarterback who would look most like a waterboy in street clothes," Delhomme would win hands down.

I have a man crush on Gordon Hayward

There was really only one reason that I ever felt cool on a basketball court, back when I actually used to set foot on such a surface. That reason was that I had on the authentic Michigan hoops shorts – made famous by the Fab 5. And “authentic” was important when you were in junior high.

The Fab 5 still hold a place in my heart, no matter how much loot they were making. C-Webb, Jalen, Juwan, Jimmy and Ray ... they were like my best friends. Gimme a break, I was nine years old. When I heard the word “booster,” I thought it meant the seat. Not some conniving alumni who pays college ballers hundreds of thousands of dollars. I digress.

These days, I would consider myself to be a casual fan of Michigan b-ball (though I do love John Beilein). And by that I mean that I may casually flick the channel to a game to check the score if I know they’re on TV. There are two reasons this happened. One, Michigan has sucked since the Fab 5. Two, I graduated from Butler.

Like most Butler grads, we tend to follow our alma mater’s squad rather close. Although some of my buddies, one in particular, would argue that I actually pull for the refs. I don’t even know what that means, but whatever.

Let me just say, how is it really conceivable that the Dogs were picked to finish fifth in the Horizon League. Really? Fifth? In the Horizon League?! Say all you want about preseason rankings and predictions, but that’s about as much nonsense as I’ve seen in a while. Maybe it’s because I saw Gordon Hayward and Shelvin Mack play in high school before their arrival. Maybe it’s because I have half a brain, I don’t know. Either way, Hayward has been my boy. He’s a lot of people’s boy now, but I’m calling shenanigans on that one.

I watched the game last Saturday at Ohio State (which was in HD as some of you know…a little better than online feed from the Sony camcorder). After letting it soak in for a few days, and after seeing most all of Butler’s nine games and 8-1 record, there are a few things that have become clear to me. The first of which being that the loss in Columbus is not the worst thing that could have happened.

I was able to get a pretty decent read on Brad Stevens when I wrote a feature piece on him last winter, and one of the things I was most intrigued about coming into this season was watching how he would handle this group of studs coming in. Between Hayward, Shelvin Mack, Garrett Butcher and Ron Nored, the simple fact is that Butler had never seen this kind of talent roll into campus. Now we’re starting to see how legit Stevens really is, too.

With Hayward and Mack alone, Butler has two players with as many raw gifts as Eminem back when “My Name Is” was released. At 6-foot-8, Hayward can legitimately play four different positions at the mid-major level. He could be described with more adjectives than Dick Vitale could come up with (Lord, please, don't ever let Dickie V. call a Butler game). Mack, on the other hand, has an aggression and powerful first step on the offensive end of the floor that sometimes just makes you giggle when you see it. Butler used to be about lay-ups and efficiency. But Hayward and Mack can play inside the lane and above the rim. Period.

Bringing Stevens back into the picture, what I have been just as pleased to see is how these to guys have been coached on the defensive end of the floor. Mack has quicker hands than Thomas Jackson ever had, and Hayward has a somewhat freakish combination of hops, long arms and quick reactions. Some of that is obviously natural talent, but some of it is Stevens clearly putting as much emphasis on defense as offense.

The game in Columbus showed me a few different things. One, this team is ready to win and it’s ready to win now. Two, they desperately need more discipline. Enter Stevens yet again.

I could sit here and rip quite a few things I don’t like about what has happened and what is going on with line-ups and a dozen other things, but the truth is still that the Dogs are nine games into a season where most people didn’t know what to expect. I do have a few suggestions just for the sake of conversation, though. More minutes for Butcher; less minutes for Jukes and Nored; everyone lay off Howard because without him on the floor you can forget about it; and consider Mack at the point.

That’s going to wrap it up for now. I’m headed to Chicago for a few days, but will be back with another utterly thought-provoking column on Thursday or Friday. Feel free to e-mail me at thefuncarblog@yahoo.com with comments and insults, and I’ll do some type of feedback column in the next couple weeks. Cheers.

Allow me to introduce myself...

As a kid, going six deep on a road trip in the family minivan was always a real treat. Heck, even if there were just four or five of us. In a true feat of hope almost every time we hit the road, albeit unrealistic hope, it never failed that one of us would make a comment about being in The Fun Car. It was time to go for a ride and we’re hopefully going to make it.

But the problem was, Dad was driving The Fun Car and he never really caught on to the concept. He somehow reasoned, in his mind, that with four kids and Mom in the car, we could make it seamlessly from exit to exit (or straight to Grandma and Grandpa’s in two hours) only when gas was needed or if he was hungry. Wrong.

With all the bickering, meaningless gotcha-games, Tetris records being set on Game Boy and whatever else, it seemed as though concept of The Fun Car was destined to fail simply based on who was in the car. But the idea – stopping when needed, remaining flexible, taking detours at times, dealing with whatever comes along, etc. – has liven on.

While in the midst of my current streak of five-plus months collecting unemployment after being laid off as a full-time sports writer/editor, and the ensuing time on my hands, I’ve decided to put my resources to good use and start to fill my own internet space with a blog on sports, life, and…uh...other stuff. Sure, I’ve been looking for a new gig and came close to a couple, but I humbly admit that there is no way anyone could have known how bad the job market would become. That’s a nice way of saying that I need something to do. So I invite you to hop in The Fun Car, where we’ll pull over for a bathroom break when needed, we’ll take detours whether it’s necessary or not, and just maybe we’ll solve the world’s problems along the way.

(Side note: For those of you that don’t know what “solving the world’s problems” actually entails, that was basically code for “drunk and/or blacked out conversations that inevitably turned into arguments at 4:30 a.m. in the frat house”. That basically explains it. I’ve grown up since then, I swear.)

I warn you that this introductory column is, for the most part, not really structured the way it will be in the future. Um, wait, that sounded like I have an actual plan. What I mean to say is that I really have no idea what this will turn into, other than a place to offer my opinions, thoughts, sarcasm, dissertations and musings about sports and other relatively meaningless things. TV shows, pop culture, certain trends, friends, family. And obviously making fun of a lot of nouns (Re: People, Places, Things). You get the idea, maybe, but we’ll still mostly talk about sports. The NFL, Butler hoops, college football and b-ball, or whatever is going on. Oh, and yeah, I have a slight interest in football point spreads. I’m no Bill Simmons though.

For those of you that know a little bit about the newspaper and/or publishing business, you know that right out of college, let’s just say that life isn’t very sexy. Two days after I graduated from Butler in May of ’05, I found myself in a small, rundown office in downtown Lebanon, Ind. That was just the beginning of it. I worked for The Daily Sun for about a year, pretty much seven days a week, covering everything from thrilling high school girls basketball games to day-long meat-fest high school wrestling tournaments. It was something special, and that’s not even touching on my first experience at the local Boone County 4-H Fair.

The 4-H Fair changed me forever. I’m about to break down just thinking about it again. I will never be the same person thanks to “professionally” covering crap like the Demolition Derby and Mud Bog. Forget work…I will never be the same person for simply being in attendance. My creativity and dignity were simultaneously shot when I got back to the office and had to try to pen a competent story about a bunch of rednecks (no offense, really) driving their pickups through a pit of mud. People often ask me what my best or favorite interview has been – Tony Dungy, John Wooden, Bobby Knight, Cal Ripken Jr. – but nope, it was the dude who won the Mud Bog. Can’t even remember his name. It was at that moment when I knew I was forever indebted to my parents for raising our family in suburban Chicago.

Since that first job, I have continued in the business and was most recently an editor at Vype Magazine. Enough of that junk though. Today I come to you from my humble abode in Fishers, Ind., which means I am now officially a suburban dweller just outside of Indianapolis. That begs the question, is there even such a thing as a suburb of Indy? Don’t think so. What this also means is that I’m buried with a bunch of Colts fans. Those of you who live in Indy but are not Colts clowns know how awesome that is. I think it’s fair to say that there will be some realistic banter about this very topic in some columns to come.

I’ll try to make this space a little more sexy (photos, links, stuff) as I learn to use the blog software, but this is what you get for now. In the true spirit of Friday, I’d like to wrap up this first column of pure boredom by presenting to you the inaugural Fun Picks from The Fun Car. Beware that I’m pretty much just a dope. As the self-professed dope himself says, Mr. Terry Boers, I don’t know anything about anything. Thanks for hopping on board and welcome. Hope you enjoy the ride.

FUN PICKS FROM THE FUN CAR
*Sheridan’s odds (USA Today, 12/12); home team in caps

COLTS (-17.5) over Lions
This one kills me. The Colts have been the luckiest team in the NFL the past six weeks, and the last time I took them, they couldn’t cover 4.5 against the Browns. Gross. Then last week, I decided to ignore them before they beat the stellar Bengals 35-3. I hate betting on the Horse this season, but with Dan Orlovsky starting for Detriot and the Colts at home, I’ll lay the points.

Packers (-2) over JAGUARS
If a team screws me one week, the bitterness factor almost never fails to take over the following week. That’s the Pack this Sunday, after their disappointing showing against the Texans at home last week, but I’m still going to take them at Jacksonville. Only reason being, the Jags packed the bus about three weeks ago. That contract extension for David Garrard is looking pretty solid.

CHIEFS (+5) over Chargers
Hello! You play to win the game! I love betting on Herm Edwards late in the season, when nothing matters. I also love Tyler Thigpen. I saw him live (full disclosure: I had a little buzz) in the Bears’ preseason game against K.C. and wondered if he would be good enough to start for my high school alma mater. Look at him now! Take the points.

COWBOYS (-3) over Giants
Tony Romo is my fantasy quarterback. After being the second seed in a 12-team league going into the playoffs last week, Romo helped start a complete meltdown loss with his awesome six-point performance against the Steelers. To top his performance, Dallas choked that game away and now they’ve got another tough one against pouty-face No. 2 (Eli Manning; Peyton is pouty-face No. 1). Might be dumb to take the ‘Boys, but I love when they are desperate. That’s about the only time they play well. And besides, I’d just like to see Wade Phillips attempt to jump while throwing his hands up in the air and celebrating the big win.