Allow me to introduce myself...

As a kid, going six deep on a road trip in the family minivan was always a real treat. Heck, even if there were just four or five of us. In a true feat of hope almost every time we hit the road, albeit unrealistic hope, it never failed that one of us would make a comment about being in The Fun Car. It was time to go for a ride and we’re hopefully going to make it.

But the problem was, Dad was driving The Fun Car and he never really caught on to the concept. He somehow reasoned, in his mind, that with four kids and Mom in the car, we could make it seamlessly from exit to exit (or straight to Grandma and Grandpa’s in two hours) only when gas was needed or if he was hungry. Wrong.

With all the bickering, meaningless gotcha-games, Tetris records being set on Game Boy and whatever else, it seemed as though concept of The Fun Car was destined to fail simply based on who was in the car. But the idea – stopping when needed, remaining flexible, taking detours at times, dealing with whatever comes along, etc. – has liven on.

While in the midst of my current streak of five-plus months collecting unemployment after being laid off as a full-time sports writer/editor, and the ensuing time on my hands, I’ve decided to put my resources to good use and start to fill my own internet space with a blog on sports, life, and…uh...other stuff. Sure, I’ve been looking for a new gig and came close to a couple, but I humbly admit that there is no way anyone could have known how bad the job market would become. That’s a nice way of saying that I need something to do. So I invite you to hop in The Fun Car, where we’ll pull over for a bathroom break when needed, we’ll take detours whether it’s necessary or not, and just maybe we’ll solve the world’s problems along the way.

(Side note: For those of you that don’t know what “solving the world’s problems” actually entails, that was basically code for “drunk and/or blacked out conversations that inevitably turned into arguments at 4:30 a.m. in the frat house”. That basically explains it. I’ve grown up since then, I swear.)

I warn you that this introductory column is, for the most part, not really structured the way it will be in the future. Um, wait, that sounded like I have an actual plan. What I mean to say is that I really have no idea what this will turn into, other than a place to offer my opinions, thoughts, sarcasm, dissertations and musings about sports and other relatively meaningless things. TV shows, pop culture, certain trends, friends, family. And obviously making fun of a lot of nouns (Re: People, Places, Things). You get the idea, maybe, but we’ll still mostly talk about sports. The NFL, Butler hoops, college football and b-ball, or whatever is going on. Oh, and yeah, I have a slight interest in football point spreads. I’m no Bill Simmons though.

For those of you that know a little bit about the newspaper and/or publishing business, you know that right out of college, let’s just say that life isn’t very sexy. Two days after I graduated from Butler in May of ’05, I found myself in a small, rundown office in downtown Lebanon, Ind. That was just the beginning of it. I worked for The Daily Sun for about a year, pretty much seven days a week, covering everything from thrilling high school girls basketball games to day-long meat-fest high school wrestling tournaments. It was something special, and that’s not even touching on my first experience at the local Boone County 4-H Fair.

The 4-H Fair changed me forever. I’m about to break down just thinking about it again. I will never be the same person thanks to “professionally” covering crap like the Demolition Derby and Mud Bog. Forget work…I will never be the same person for simply being in attendance. My creativity and dignity were simultaneously shot when I got back to the office and had to try to pen a competent story about a bunch of rednecks (no offense, really) driving their pickups through a pit of mud. People often ask me what my best or favorite interview has been – Tony Dungy, John Wooden, Bobby Knight, Cal Ripken Jr. – but nope, it was the dude who won the Mud Bog. Can’t even remember his name. It was at that moment when I knew I was forever indebted to my parents for raising our family in suburban Chicago.

Since that first job, I have continued in the business and was most recently an editor at Vype Magazine. Enough of that junk though. Today I come to you from my humble abode in Fishers, Ind., which means I am now officially a suburban dweller just outside of Indianapolis. That begs the question, is there even such a thing as a suburb of Indy? Don’t think so. What this also means is that I’m buried with a bunch of Colts fans. Those of you who live in Indy but are not Colts clowns know how awesome that is. I think it’s fair to say that there will be some realistic banter about this very topic in some columns to come.

I’ll try to make this space a little more sexy (photos, links, stuff) as I learn to use the blog software, but this is what you get for now. In the true spirit of Friday, I’d like to wrap up this first column of pure boredom by presenting to you the inaugural Fun Picks from The Fun Car. Beware that I’m pretty much just a dope. As the self-professed dope himself says, Mr. Terry Boers, I don’t know anything about anything. Thanks for hopping on board and welcome. Hope you enjoy the ride.

FUN PICKS FROM THE FUN CAR
*Sheridan’s odds (USA Today, 12/12); home team in caps

COLTS (-17.5) over Lions
This one kills me. The Colts have been the luckiest team in the NFL the past six weeks, and the last time I took them, they couldn’t cover 4.5 against the Browns. Gross. Then last week, I decided to ignore them before they beat the stellar Bengals 35-3. I hate betting on the Horse this season, but with Dan Orlovsky starting for Detriot and the Colts at home, I’ll lay the points.

Packers (-2) over JAGUARS
If a team screws me one week, the bitterness factor almost never fails to take over the following week. That’s the Pack this Sunday, after their disappointing showing against the Texans at home last week, but I’m still going to take them at Jacksonville. Only reason being, the Jags packed the bus about three weeks ago. That contract extension for David Garrard is looking pretty solid.

CHIEFS (+5) over Chargers
Hello! You play to win the game! I love betting on Herm Edwards late in the season, when nothing matters. I also love Tyler Thigpen. I saw him live (full disclosure: I had a little buzz) in the Bears’ preseason game against K.C. and wondered if he would be good enough to start for my high school alma mater. Look at him now! Take the points.

COWBOYS (-3) over Giants
Tony Romo is my fantasy quarterback. After being the second seed in a 12-team league going into the playoffs last week, Romo helped start a complete meltdown loss with his awesome six-point performance against the Steelers. To top his performance, Dallas choked that game away and now they’ve got another tough one against pouty-face No. 2 (Eli Manning; Peyton is pouty-face No. 1). Might be dumb to take the ‘Boys, but I love when they are desperate. That’s about the only time they play well. And besides, I’d just like to see Wade Phillips attempt to jump while throwing his hands up in the air and celebrating the big win.