Moving Down Under

Does anyone understand how you know when you’ve not had a job for way too long? It’s when twice in one day, you get separate emails from separate friends saying apply to this right here.

That could be the entire thought for the day, I could just leave it at that, but hey – I’ve got nothing better to do, other than apply to The World’s Greatest Job. And let’s be honest, you know and I know that I’ll be sending some materials to somebody important.

Funny thing is, and one of the guys who sent it to me already knew, I’ve stayed on an island about a quarter mile from where this “Great Barrier Reef Media Dude” would be posting up. The gig is on Hamilton Island, which my catamaran pulled up to for a few hours one afternoon. Everyone gets around on golf carts … it’s the most touristy spot in the tropical fantasy of the Whitsunday Islands off the northeast coast of Australia.

This little stop during the greatest five-month span of my life “studying abroad” in Sydney (early ’04) has led me to this moment, where destiny could lead me back there. Think about it, what a Hollywood narrative that would be. It’s the opposite of “Castaway” where I would just be livin’ the dream, after getting tossed from a career covering high school sports in the middle of Indiana. How does this not work out for me?

OK, now that that’s settled, let’s get on to some Big Ten buckets. Essentially, I offer some observation from afar … I’ve watched a handful of games, caught parts about every team, and this is really the first year in quite a while where I’ve had some interest in the conference.

Much like in football, Big Ten hoops has been noticeably below average for an extended period of time. And b-ball can’t survive a bad product the way football can – just ask the Illini, where despite being 14-2, they haven’t been able to fill Assembly Hall for most of the season. And the terribly constructed Assembly Hall in Bloomington, Ind., has been a melting pot for pure stink all season and IU has shut down the upper tank, I’ve heard. But you can be sure all those mouth breathers will be back next season with the Hooisers’ top five class coming in.

Looking at the standings and all the team records is a little bit of a tease, which I could make an analogy for that would probably be inappropriate. I’m not even close to being sold on Illinois, Ohio State, Penn St., and even Wisconsin somewhat. Not to mention Michigan, who despite some really sexy wins, still seem to not show up sometimes (Re: overtime win over Indiana).

The A-Rod Award for “Most disappointing in big games” goes to Purdue, who really just has been disappointing all around. But I still think my guy Matt Painter can turn this thing around if they get healthy and lose the “We think we’re better than we are” attitude by the tourney. I like Painter … he’s really one of the few that can pull off the glossy slicked back look. I respect that.

Which brings me to the two teams I see as the front runners so far – the two scratch golfers who aren’t getting any strokes. One is a mainstay, Michigan State, but the sleeper is the Go-phers (long ‘o’) and the one and only Tubby Smith. If you think the guy can’t coach, you’re wrong. If they can win some close games down the stretch, I just like the way they play from the little snips I’ve seen.

Here is the other thing I’m really starting to be impressed by in the Big Ten: the coaches. Being a maize and blue guy, I can’t help but start to develop some feelings for John Beilein. I know Iowa sucks, but I watched most of that game Sunday (and unexpected part of the 36 hours of viewing pleasure) and Michigan’s zone defense is kinda fun to watch. That’s not to mention the aforementioned Smith and Painter, to go along with Tom Izzo, Bo Ryan, the golden brown toned Tom Crean, and Thad Matta. That’s leaving out Mr. High Pitch at Illinois, who is a decent coach himself (just can’t recruit). What about Todd Lickliter? Hmmm … not exactly sold on him.

But that’s a pretty good list of coaches, right? I’d put that up against any conference, but I think the Big East would take ‘em partly due to shear numbers. The talent in the Big Ten still needs to get better, which it’s starting to, but better coaches help attract that. Especially when they’ve got nice hair like Painter, a nice tan like Crean, and solid dance moves like Ryan.

Lots of viewing pleasure

This past weekend, I went to my brother’s apartment on the north side of Chicago for 36 hours of Sony Bravia NFL Playoff Viewing, and a few libations as well. Sony didn’t sponsor that lead to today’s Fun Car (I’m not quite there yet), but if the game is shot on a Sony, shouldn’t you be watching it on a Sony?

I say yes … and we were. Fifty-two inches of goodness, to be exact, and it was literally a two thirds upright position for the better part of that 36 hours. We did leave to go out Saturday night, but that was the exception to the rule.

Several comments and questions were thrown out, obviously, and the things discussed ranged from my brother literally conversing with James Brown during that Sony promo, to how short and squatty the Giants’ offensive line really is, to how unbelievably hot the brunette from "Gary Unmarried" is. Who is she? There's no research department here.

(Detour: Meanwhile, I went 0-4 on my bets and for my first and only official meltdown of the season, at the worst possible time and the worst possible weekend. I’m not losing cold hard cash, it’s just a rather expensive season-long pool. Yeah, that almost makes me feel better about it. I even went against my Arizona pick in last Wednesday’s column. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m just a dope. It was just a kick to the face really.)

One of the better conversations revolved around the odd torso shape of Ray Lewis, who is sporting a bit of a belly now at 34 years old. That got me thinking the Middle Linebacker Belly was more of a trend rather than just Ray.

Let’s think about it. Being holed up here in Indy, the first guy who came to mind was Gary Brackett. That is the shortest and pudgiest NFL linebacker I’ve personally ever seen, both in pads and out of pads. Back in my valet parking days, the guy stepped out of his SUV and I wouldn’t have know the difference if Marlin Jackson wasn’t getting out of the Escalade behind him. Seriously, I’m 5-9 and I was eye to eye with Brackett, and my gut was not much bigger.

Then, watching the Giants-Eagles snooze fest, I was reminded of the little pouch that Antonio Pierce is carrying. Is three a trend? And is there any explanation for this, other than the fact that they eat burritos at 3 a.m. a couple times a week? More important, add to the list if you think you have a linebacker guilty of this infraction.

Mojo Risin’

If you’ve ever seen the episode of “Family Guy” where Peter gets his own theme music, then this will make more sense. But still, don’t you think that some things just need theme music?

I can’t figure out why, but every once in a while, the process of doing a task has reminded me of a certain song … and it thus becomes theme music. This morning, I went online to check out the college hoops rankings this week and went to find the ButDogs at No. 17 in the AP and No. 18 in the Coaches’ Poll.

Then it hit me. The Doors have put out some classics, but this was a perfect fit for hearing Jim Morrison in the background, starting low and quiet into the crescendo …

“Mo-jo ri-sin’ … keep the mojo risin’ … mo-jo ri-sin’ … keep on risin’ … MO-JO RI-SIN’! … KEEP ON RI-SIN’! …RISIN’ RISIN’!”

No, I’m not on any psychedelics today. But yes, going to check the polls to see the ButDogs creep their way up now has its own theme music.

The only game I’ve missed all season was last Saturday’s “What the hell was that?” showing against Detroit, yet the ButDogs escaped at home. Just one of those games that doesn’t look good on paper, which frankly, most of the people voting only see most games on paper.

And you know, that’s exactly why the top-25 really doesn’t mean squat. How did that ranking work out for Butler last year? Got them a 7-seed. And that didn’t matter either. But, what I will say is that the ranking is one of the best things for the program. They can do things like have Brad Stevens ask in a radio commercial if the reason you like Butler basketball is because of “the consistent top-25 ranking.”

But on a more serious note, a top-25 ranking legitimizes a mid major program. If they can stay there consistently, which the ButDogs now have for the past two-plus years, then it puts them on a different level. It helps recruit a different kind of player … don’t kid yourself if you think “The Butler Way” is the top reason Shelvin Mack, Gordon Hayward, Matt Howard came to play at Hinkle.

After this season, pretty much no matter how deep this team goes in the tourney, you can put them right there with Gonzaga as the class of college basketball outside the power conferences. And I’m just using that as a classification, not in a demeaning way.

Tomorrow I’ll change it up a little and talk some Big Ten hoops and we’ll see what else. Trying to stick on the Monday-Wednesday-Friday, but man, sometimes the day just gets away from me.

Friday Funbag for all

No, not those kind of funbags. That’s on a different site. But there is no reason to try to reinvent the wheel here … welcome to the inaugural Funbag, a mailbag of sorts where I get to kindly respond to the comments and e-mails from my fellow degenerates. I figure most of you will be involved in some way … if there are 10 people reading this and I use six or seven comments from past columns, then I’d say this is a pretty reader-friendly idea. I’m here for the people.

Without further ado, hope this can waste some time on a soft Friday at the office.

From Beth: “In my first newspaper job, I lost my dignity covering FFA Day (Future Farmers of America) at Jay County High School. They drove their tractors to school.”
DM: Yeah, you’re definitely on to something here. I made the drive to Jay County H.S. once myself, which really leads to the bigger picture: If you’re not from the country, then driving through the country will harden you. Plain and simple. You start to appreciate things like gas stations, well-marked roads that don’t change names three times in a 20 mile stretch, and being generally lost with much less sense of direction. Make one wrong turn and you end up in places you never knew existed … which is frustrating because you’ve never heard of the place you’re supposed to be going either.

From BCrone: “Nice read, but I have to disagree (Shelvin) Mack having quicker hands than TJ (Thomas Jackson). I have played against both and I definitely think Mack will get there. I don’t think he’s there yet!”
DM: BCrone? As in Brandon Crone? Thanks for reading … now I’m putting out an official APB for you. I’m not on the message board so I’m not sure where you are playing these days ... has “The Fun Car” gone international already? Still playing across the pond?
I can’t really sit here and disagree with you, well, because I haven’t played against Mack and TJ. I think I could take ‘em though, but that’s another story. Someone forward this to Mr. Crone … we can do an interview, something like “Brandon Crone’s Top European Party Cities.” Now that would be a good read. Either way, I love former ButDog hoopers reading this brainwashing column. It’s fantastic.

From Jay, before the NFL playoffs started: “Good NFL thoughts. In the Colts case, one could employ the “Good teams find a way to win” argument, but I think that you are on the money … the Colts will be back to their familiar tradition of being overrated and choking in the playoffs. That is all I want for Christmas.”
DM: Merry Christmas, Jay. Sorry it’s a little late, but no less deserved. It’s not often I’m “on the money” about much, but the Colts essentially kept pace with themselves, so to speak. But first off, let me say that Colts fans around here need to just have a seat and take a deep breath. Remember the ‘90s? Were most of you “fans” then? You’ve made the playoffs for freaking 10 straight years. You won a Super Bowl. You have (soon had) a coach that people bow down to. You just got a brand new stadium. You have jerseys that all of you seem to love. You have Peyton. And you were stupid enough to believe that the Colts were much better than they actually were this season. In fact, it’s eerily similar to some Bears fans that drank the Kool-Aid and were disappointed when the team overachieved and fought for a playoff spot. I’m thankful, and a bit humbly proud, that I drank beer instead of Kook-Aid.

From Joe: “The Colts got screwed by the two worst rules in the NFL. First of all, why the hell do the Colts have to travel to .500 San Diego. Then they get screwed by the overtime policy of the NFL that puts more weight on the flip of a coin than the play of a team.”
DM: My previous point exactly. No, Joe, the Colts actually got screwed because they had an incredibly soft run defense and an offensive line that couldn’t create open running lanes to save their backside. It’s honestly not any more complicated than that.

From Josh: “I think it’s pretty clear that any success (Brad) Stevens has had is the direct result of his excellent DePauw education.”
DM: I’ve never heard a more objective statement in my life. You DePauw grads are quite the confident bunch, if I do say so. And I have to ask, what do you think when you see your former college buddy on the sidelines of a Top 25 team?
Listen, I like Stevens. He is a big reason why this team starting three froshies is 13-1 at the moment. But I will say, in confidence to my free season ticket partner who I sit with at the games, the offensive rotations and general decision-making is getting a little out of hand. It’s hard to be too frustrated after the team won its 15^th straight league game last night and beat Wright State by 16, but there are some glaring things that need to stop sooner rather than later. Here they are:

- Avery Jukes must stop shooting 3’s, and he must stop getting thrown the ball in the post just so it can hit his hands and turn into a loose ball.

- Grant Leiendecker, he’s probably a great guy, but his minutes are far from justified. If he is supposed to be a shooter off the bench, then 26 percent from behind the arc just isn’t going to cut it.

- The turnovers and bad shots on the offensive end need to be heavily reduced. What’s frustrating is that earlier in the year, a few players were quotes as saying that Stevens just tells them to keep shooting if they are open – if they don’t fall, then they will soon. I’m paraphrasing obviously, but that’s just a little concerning.

From Greg: “Apparently your terrible Michigan ring tone you had for years was free. You need to spend money on some of that stuff we used to eat back in the day. What’s that called again?”

DM: Listen Notre Dame boy, yes it was free. And I’m not sure what that stuff was called … fruit roll-ups maybe?

From Anonymous: “An iPod changed my life. Get one. You heard it here first. Falcons/Colts Super Bowl next year. The Mike Shanahan-led Colts will gallop through the postseason, only to clash with league MVP Matt Ryan – the first quarterback to start all 16 games and beef less than five interceptions. Do you ever feel guilty for living on my social security?”
DM: Oh, where to start. First off, do you not have a name? I guess not, so we’ll just call you Johnny Prognosticator. A guy who found the true meaning of an iPod. A guy who apparently was under a rock about a year ago when Jim Caldwell was named the next coach of your beloved Horse. A guy who apparently missed Matt Ryan throwing two interceptions against one of the worst pass defenses in the league last week. A guy who apparently didn’t get the memo about the Colts being old and slow on offense, and too small and soft on defense. A guy who just asked me if I felt guilty for losing my job and taking money from a Democratic government. And this whole time I just assumed this comment came from a guy. I don’t think a lady could be that big of a dope.

My ring tone says I'm cool

Let me preface this by first saying that it’s pretty clear how far from perfect I am when it comes to managing money. I’m working on it.

That said, for whatever reason, there are certain things that I simply refuse to spend money on. Most of them are stupid things (maybe less than five bucks) but it’s more just the concept that whatever the thing might be, I don’t really need it. But what’s important is what ends up making this list – it’s different for every person, and I’d think most people have some form of this rationality in your brain.

Just go with me here, this will all hopefully make sense in a minute. For example, one of the first things on my personal “I’m Not Spending Money On This List” is actually not a cheap item – it’s an iPod. I might be the one dude under 30 that doesn’t have one. It’s just something I’ve lived without, well, forever, so it doesn’t bother me. Why? Not worth the bare minimum of spending 200 bucks off the bat. I mostly listen to talk radio … I could go on with answers (excuses), but that’s not much fun.

Then there are small things on the list, fairly inconsequential when it comes down to it. Ever since I was the last one of my friends, and acquaintances, to get a cell phone when I was a sophomore in college, I have absolutely refused to pay money for ring tones. Come on, it’s just stupid. It’s a phone, and it rings, and you answer it. For 99 cents, I would rather do a lot of things – such as visit the Wendy’s dollar menu. Or just be happy with using whatever is on the phone when you get it, and being a dollar heavier.

Here’s the whole point: my buddy out in Arizona has always bought ring tones, and I’ve never really told him that I think it’s dumb. That all changed yesterday when he called me from his work phone, and then proceeded to play the classic bagpipes version of “Amazing Grace” that blows up every time I call him. Easily the best ring tone I have ever heard, hands down, and it frankly made me feel damn proud that it was mine. I’ve loved that song, and the bagpipes, since I was a wee lad. And it all culminated at 25 years old with my own bagpipe ring tone.

What I’m saying is that we all need to be flexible. I hated ring tones, and now a phone call from me sets off the best damn one in the land. So things on the “I’m Not Spending Money On This List” are capable of coming and going, but it’s rare.

It’s kind of like your own personal list of rules for betting/picking NFL playoff games: You have to remain flexible, literally all the way up until kickoff. I didn’t follow this rule last week and it cost me. This often happens when you make picks early in the week, like I’m about to below, and I’m just glad to have that excuse before I actually decide. Last week it cost me when I inexplicably bet on the Tavaris Jackson-led Vikings, and also right before kickoff of the Colts game when I realized they weren’t very good, on the road, and they would probably lose – even though I had already bet on them. What a terrible gut feeling. Should have remained flexible, should have remained flexible.

FUN PICKS FROM THE FUN CAR: NFL DIVISIONAL PLAYOFFS
(Danny Sheridan’s odds; USAToday.com 1/7; Home team in caps)

TITANS (-3) over Ravens (Saturday, 4:30 p.m. ET)
Let’s just say that this would be the time to bet against a rookie QB (Joe Flacco) who is going on the road for the second straight week in his first playoff season. And Flacco’s Ravens are playing a team that’s, well, not only two steps up from Miami, but also better than them. The second reason I’m going to take the Titans would be the fact that I’ve got quite the soft spot for Jeff Fisher. It’s something that has developed over time, much like an appreciation for good hops and barley. If Norv Turner is Natural Light, then Jeff Fisher is, say, Stella or Oberon. When you have the choice, and have the extra buck and a half to spend on a pint, no question you’re asking for option No. 2. Hard to believe Fisher has been in the league for 37 years already. Perhaps it’s more around 15 years with the same franchise … but somehow he is still just 38 years old. Right?

Cardinals (+9.5) over PANTHERS (Saturday, 8:15 p.m. ET)
Arizona is not winning this game. Just to set that straight. But I just see this one being decided more in the four to seven point range. And to give credit where credit is due, I’m going to refer back to Bill Simmons’ Playoff Manifesto (his playoff betting rules, for those of you who don’t know or care). His deal is when a playoff line is 10 or more points, you take the points and just roll with it. I’m going to move forward with that theory here. Thanks Bill.

In other news, the Cardinals have stunk when traveling to the East Coast this season. Oh-and-five, to be exact:
L 24-17 @ Washington
L 56-35 @ NY Jets
L 27-23 @ Carolina
L 48-20 @ Philadelphia
L 47-7 @ New England

GIANTS (-4.5) over Eagles (Sunday, 1 p.m. ET)
The Eagles are getting a lot of love the past few weeks, and I can’t really figure out why. Feel free to try to explain it to me if you like. They were dead in the water, needed a combination over about nine different losses by other teams just to make the playoffs, and then beat a Minnesota team who started probably the second worst QB in the league. The lack of a meaningful running game in short-yardage situations will cost Philly in this game, unlike at Minnesota. The Giants will score enough points, maybe even a defensive TD, in a 20-13 game. I know Andy Reid’s stupidity didn’t used to cost his team until the conference title game, but this year it’s a week earlier.

Chargers (+6) over STEELERS (Sunday, 4:45 p.m. ET)
This is a make-up bet if I’ve ever seen one. I feel bad about not taking San Diego last week, I really do. I knew better than that. So, in the hopes of redemption, I’ll take the points in spite of an alarmingly decisive coaching advantage for the Steelers. That’s an understatement when Norv Turner is on the sidelines. Norv ... AKA, Natural Light. Still, though, I see a low scoring game where the points are too valuable to lay six. Come on, Norv, just don’t screw it up for me. I know that’s asking a lot.

We're back, after these messages

So can we all just take a deep breath, please? All together now … good. And I’ve never even done yoga before.

The circus road show through Christmas, New Year’s and The Phantom Week In Between have officially been left behind – most likely with a smile on your face.

That is, of course, unless you’re a Bears fan. Or a Colts fan. Or a Lions fan, bless your heart. In any of those cases, I bet you still wish they were running “A Christmas Story” marathon on TBS. In the case of the Lions fan, I bet you just wish you had the Red Rider BB gun at an arm’s length. But we’ll get to the NFL a little later.

I’d rather get to the positive stuff first and get that out of the way. It’s pretty difficult to make any jokes about the Butler hoops team right now, who will now simply be referred to as the more commonly known (at least in my world) ButDogs.

The ButDogs, during my two-week hiatus from writing due to such a busy schedule, made fairly quick work of then-No. 12 (and somewhat overrated) Xavier on the road. They followed that up with a fairly nice win over UAB at Hinkle, seen by the maybe the biggest weeknight crowd I’ve seen at the old barn. Following Saturday night’s snooze-fest rally at Valpo, the ButDogs are now 10-1 and should bump into both polls when they are released tomorrow.

I still maintain my mancrush on frosh favorite Gordon Hayward, even while the opposition has stuck its best defender on the kid the past three or four games. “Gordo” (Spanish translation: Fat man. I say we roll with this.) has been able to hit the boards and play solid D while his buddy Shelvin Mack displays the textbook form on his jumper. But most important, they are finding ways to get Matt Howard more involved in the offense … and if the ball consistently works through those three, then I’m cool with that. Problem is, there are still too many lineup changes for this point of the season. Brad Stevens has my trust, but if there’s one thing that kind of makes me scratch my head, it’s some of the odd five-somes he puts on the floor at times.

While we’re here on this topic, there’s one trend with the ButDogs that is a little troublesome. It’s the turnovers – consistently making dumb decisions on the offensive end. I can liken it to the outgoing single guy who is great in social situations, meeting women, and his friends aren’t really afraid to set him up. Yet he continues to make little stupid mistakes along the way (not on purpose, usually without even knowing), with a girl who just might be take-home-to-mom quality in the long run. While the ButDogs have been winning so far, I get this eerie feeling that these stupid mistakes are going to be what does them in this March. Sorta like the myth of Mike Green last season.

For the time being, heading into conference play, I don’t see anyone in the Horizon league who can compete with them consistently. I say they lose two games in the conference, probably both on the road. That sounds a little familiar to last season, and a few other seasons, doesn’t it? But it’s different this time around, with this group, and I know I’m not the only one who feels that way. Group hug.

Shoot the college bowl season in the head

Thank you. It’s almost over, I promise. Tonight features a Texas team who got royally screwed by the BCS (and its own conference tiebreaker) against an Ohio St. team who really just kinda sucks in the Fiesta Bowl. Enjoy that one. And don’t forget to set your DVR on Tuesday night for the Too-Late-For-Bad-Teams Bowl when Ball St. squares off against Tulsa.

For someone like me, who pretty much has a girlfriend named College Football for five months a year, I feel like I shouldn’t ever have to wonder when the National Title game actually is. It’s like I have to set a reminder on my cell phone just because it’s about three months after the season ends. I tend to lose interest at that point, but that’s why God invented gambling. I’m not dead set on this yet, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be taking Oklahoma and the three points coming along with it.

The game is Thursday night, by the way, and I’m really looking forward to Fox’s continued BCS coverage using NFL personalities with remote memories of college glory days. Just think about it when you see this lineup of talking heads: Eddie George, Barry Switzer, Jimmy Johnson. When I heard that ESPN got the next contract for the BCS, it was the very first time I was happy about hearing ESPN covering anything.

NFL Playoffs: The good, bad, and ugly

In this past weekend’s Wild Card Round, here’s what happened in case you missed it: Arizona realized they could play run defense for a little bit and beat the Falcons; the Colts realized that most of their last nine games were a fallacy and their defense stinks when they lost to the Chargers; the Baltimore defense made a fool of Chad Pennington and then they made fun of Flipper at the postgame press conference; and Tavaris Jackson is unfortunately the Vikings’ starting QB, so they faded down the stretch against Philly.

Since I’ll be talking about the upcoming round of Division Championship games later this week, instead I’ll continue with a few rather meaningless observations from the Wild Card round. Watching the Eagles-Vikings game, I couldn’t help but want to put up a side-by-side of a walrus next to Andy Reid. Strikingly similar.

But while I was searching the internet for a photo of Reid, I came across this gem of Eagles receiver Hank Baskett’s girlfriend – Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson. It’s not that the photo itself is a gem, rather the fact that it’s concrete proof that professional athletes will always have an edge on the rest of us. Huge revelation, but there you have it. Hank freakin’ Baskett.

And, not to kick the Colts and their fans while they’re down, but I had a redeeming moment on Saturday night. I was sitting at my place with a couple guys watching the game, having a few Coors Lights while losing my bets on the Horse AND the over/under, and that’s when we decided to just head to the local Britton Tavern. Choice place, by the way (insert sarcastic joke here).

We got there with two minutes left in regulation, and I got to see the complete meltdown – from the tying field goal, the looming uneasy feeling about overtime, and then the money shot – when Darren Sproles did his best impersonation of a Smart car bobbing and weaving through traffic, into the end zone. Bummer, dude. Myself and one rather large fellow in an Antonio Gates jersey were the only two guys in the place with a grin. I felt safe thanks to him.

Lastly, if there is anyone that actually reads this damn thing, my plan is to now write every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Hopefully something fresh around lunch time. Thanks for reading, feel free to comment or send me an e-mail at thefuncarblog@yahoo.com. Perhaps a mailbag on Friday, who knows. Cheers.

Thoughts, picks, and genearlly just a good time

It's Friday, I ain't got no job, I ain't got $h!t to do. It's funny cause I can legitimately say that. My to-do lists on a daily basis are full of exciting and important stuff. Like today, I'm on a mission to find the most hideous Christmas sweater known to man for the standard yearly themed get-together. I swear everyone from the age of 23 to roughly 40 goes to an "Ugly Christmas Sweater Party" on an annual basis. I love the holidays.

For the most part, the holiday season can basically be highlighted by things such as driving (snow and traffic jams included), family fun, seeing out-of-town friends, indulging in a few adult beverages ... and repeat. Even for someone like me, who has "laundry" as the day's top priority once a week, there's a lot going on this time of year.

So, in honor of this somewhat spazzy (I know other people that say that word, but I don't think it's really a word) time of year, I unveil to you this week's random notebook. And we'll close with the second installment of "Fun Picks from The Fun Car", featuring the opening of the college bowl season along with Sunday's NFL goodies.

• Last week, before the Colts played the Lions, I made a somewhat half-hearted comment to my buddy that without Peyton Manning, the Colts would be closer to looking like the Lions than most people would think. And after watching that game against Detroit - you know, the game where you weren't sure if the crowd was either napping or reading a good book - and then Thursday's uninspired comeback against the Jags, I think that sentiment about Manning and the team may be closer to true than false. I flicked past ESPN 1070 here in Indy last week and heard Indy Star columnist and afternoon show co-host Bob Kravitz say that the Colts are the hottest team in the NFL right now. And better yet, he said that they are the ONE team that anyone in the AFC wouldn't want to see in the playoffs. I find that opinion to be remarkably stupid. The only thing that would be remotely close to accurate would be saying that Manning is the one QB that you wouldn't want to see in the playoffs right now. Everyone knows I can't stand him, but I say he's the MVP of the league.

• Ahh, and now I can move on to the beloved Bears. I just can't wait until Monday night's game means absolutely nothing after the Vikings win on Sunday. It's going to be great to turn on The Score in the car and hear the lowest common denominator say how beating the Packers is do or die, and it would save the season. Essentially, the Bears are an overachieving bad team. The amount of money they spent on the defense, in direct correlation with the product you see on the field on both sides of the ball, is absolutely incredible to me. Year after year, blah blah blah ...

• Not sure if anyone outside of Indy actually heard about this or even cares, but former North Central H.S. and IU hooper Eric Gordon (now playing for the L.A. Clippers) made some headlines by saying that while at IU, some teammates were maybe twisting a joint in between classes and the like. He didn't exactly put it in those words, but his quote was a little too boring for me. I believe he said "did some drugs." Anyway, putting the actual drug issue aside, I was just kinda scratching my head at why he would say something like that at this point. I've interviewed the kid, saw him play a bunch in high school and was friends with many people that knew him well ... and what I'm trying to say is that he's the type of kid that would only share that for a reason. From all accounts that I know, he's a good guy with a good head, so tell me, why would he tell a reporter that a year later? That's a legitimate question, I think.

• It's a (h)uge weekend in the NFL, which means it's time to turn off ESPN so that your brain doesn't become mush. In case you haven't heard, the No. 1 seed in the playoffs is up for grabs in each conference with the Steelers at the Titans (CBS, 1 p.m. est) and the Giants hosting the Panthers (NBC, 8:15 p.m. est). Picks on these games will be found below, but I'd just like to say that I'm glad neither one of these games is on FOX, therefore there is absolutely no possibility of seeing Frank Caliendo at any point during the day. Seriously, has any comedian become more annoying in a quicker time span? Okay Frank, we get it ... John Madden is a nut job and Charles Barkley says stupid things with strange emphases on certain syllables. Enough already.

• The annual installment of baseball's "Hot Stove League" is about to start wrapping up, and unless you're in New York, Boston, L.A. and maybe one or two other cities, you'd probably rather read about why the stove in your kitchen is still hot even though dinner was made three hours ago. But let's go ahead and throw the Cubs under the bus - only because it's the right thing to do. It's just so fun to see the fans get all up in arms over possible trades and free agent signings that haven't happened. After the way the Cubbies went to sleep in the playoffs, the offseason circus is even more exciting in many ways. Get a hold of yourselves, please.

FUN PICKS FROM THE FUN CAR
(Sheridan's Odds; USAToday.com 12/19; Home team in caps)

Wake Forest (-3) over Navy (Saturday @ Washington, D.C)
You can't say this about many bowl games during any given year, but I actually think that this game has two teams that are willing to actually show up for the game ... in other words, they are two pretty disciplined programs. That's what makes bowl games tough to pick against the spread, simply because at least one team almost always fails to remember that people are betting on these games. In this one, I like Wake Forest stud LB and Butkus Award winner Aaron Curry to give some headaches to Navy's predictable (but effective) option running attack. I guess we'll find out.

Arizona (-3) over BYU (Saturday @ Las Vegas)
Here's my thinking on this game: The "Mormon Affect" will actually hurt BYU because they have way more players on their roster who are of legal age to go enjoy the, um, good times in Vegas. Come on, they can't always be angels, right? And, perhaps a more logical argument, all I know is that BYU very nearly and should have lost to the incomparable Washington Huskies and Ty Willingham earlier this season. 'Nough said.

Pittsburgh (-1.5) over TENNESSEE (Sunday, 1 p.m. est)
I'm allowed to get off the Titan bandwagon just as fast as I got on it. Even on the road, I just see the Steelers being too tough in the fourth quarter in this one ... quite similar to a 13-9 game like last week, without the benefit of an iffy replay call. And seriously, how much do you love Mike Tomlin? I'd just be really surprised if I went out for a beer with him and ended up thinking he wasn't cool.

Arizona (+8) over NEW ENGLAND (Sunday, 1 p.m. est)
Yes, I do know how awful the Cardinals were last week at home against Minnesota. But I just think that's a lot of points to be getting for a team that can score a lot of points. Even though the Pats posted 49 last week against Oakland, they did give up 26 to close-to-calling-him-a-bust JaMarcus Russell. I could be terribly wrong about this one, but what else is new.

DETROIT (+7) over New Orleans (Sunday, 1 p.m. est)
Please, someone in control of something, give the people of Southeast Michigan a break. I beg you.

Carolina (+3) over NY GIANTS (Sunday, 8:15 p.m. est)
Whether Brandon Jacobs is on the field or not, I still like the points in this game. The Giants just don't look like the same team lately (big revelation, I know), so it will really be a matter of whether or not they can get out of this funk heading into the playoffs. On the other side, if I could pick one head coach in the league to start a team, John Fox would make the list of the final three ... and maybe get the nod. They keep winning despite Jake Delhomme and his rather odd and uncomfortable look on the football field. If there were an award for "NFL quarterback who would look most like a waterboy in street clothes," Delhomme would win hands down.

I have a man crush on Gordon Hayward

There was really only one reason that I ever felt cool on a basketball court, back when I actually used to set foot on such a surface. That reason was that I had on the authentic Michigan hoops shorts – made famous by the Fab 5. And “authentic” was important when you were in junior high.

The Fab 5 still hold a place in my heart, no matter how much loot they were making. C-Webb, Jalen, Juwan, Jimmy and Ray ... they were like my best friends. Gimme a break, I was nine years old. When I heard the word “booster,” I thought it meant the seat. Not some conniving alumni who pays college ballers hundreds of thousands of dollars. I digress.

These days, I would consider myself to be a casual fan of Michigan b-ball (though I do love John Beilein). And by that I mean that I may casually flick the channel to a game to check the score if I know they’re on TV. There are two reasons this happened. One, Michigan has sucked since the Fab 5. Two, I graduated from Butler.

Like most Butler grads, we tend to follow our alma mater’s squad rather close. Although some of my buddies, one in particular, would argue that I actually pull for the refs. I don’t even know what that means, but whatever.

Let me just say, how is it really conceivable that the Dogs were picked to finish fifth in the Horizon League. Really? Fifth? In the Horizon League?! Say all you want about preseason rankings and predictions, but that’s about as much nonsense as I’ve seen in a while. Maybe it’s because I saw Gordon Hayward and Shelvin Mack play in high school before their arrival. Maybe it’s because I have half a brain, I don’t know. Either way, Hayward has been my boy. He’s a lot of people’s boy now, but I’m calling shenanigans on that one.

I watched the game last Saturday at Ohio State (which was in HD as some of you know…a little better than online feed from the Sony camcorder). After letting it soak in for a few days, and after seeing most all of Butler’s nine games and 8-1 record, there are a few things that have become clear to me. The first of which being that the loss in Columbus is not the worst thing that could have happened.

I was able to get a pretty decent read on Brad Stevens when I wrote a feature piece on him last winter, and one of the things I was most intrigued about coming into this season was watching how he would handle this group of studs coming in. Between Hayward, Shelvin Mack, Garrett Butcher and Ron Nored, the simple fact is that Butler had never seen this kind of talent roll into campus. Now we’re starting to see how legit Stevens really is, too.

With Hayward and Mack alone, Butler has two players with as many raw gifts as Eminem back when “My Name Is” was released. At 6-foot-8, Hayward can legitimately play four different positions at the mid-major level. He could be described with more adjectives than Dick Vitale could come up with (Lord, please, don't ever let Dickie V. call a Butler game). Mack, on the other hand, has an aggression and powerful first step on the offensive end of the floor that sometimes just makes you giggle when you see it. Butler used to be about lay-ups and efficiency. But Hayward and Mack can play inside the lane and above the rim. Period.

Bringing Stevens back into the picture, what I have been just as pleased to see is how these to guys have been coached on the defensive end of the floor. Mack has quicker hands than Thomas Jackson ever had, and Hayward has a somewhat freakish combination of hops, long arms and quick reactions. Some of that is obviously natural talent, but some of it is Stevens clearly putting as much emphasis on defense as offense.

The game in Columbus showed me a few different things. One, this team is ready to win and it’s ready to win now. Two, they desperately need more discipline. Enter Stevens yet again.

I could sit here and rip quite a few things I don’t like about what has happened and what is going on with line-ups and a dozen other things, but the truth is still that the Dogs are nine games into a season where most people didn’t know what to expect. I do have a few suggestions just for the sake of conversation, though. More minutes for Butcher; less minutes for Jukes and Nored; everyone lay off Howard because without him on the floor you can forget about it; and consider Mack at the point.

That’s going to wrap it up for now. I’m headed to Chicago for a few days, but will be back with another utterly thought-provoking column on Thursday or Friday. Feel free to e-mail me at thefuncarblog@yahoo.com with comments and insults, and I’ll do some type of feedback column in the next couple weeks. Cheers.